无线狂人

今天给大家带来一首在美国程序员之中流传很广泛的歌，叫《Write in C！》呵呵，相当有趣。先放英文出来，然后我翻译成中文，哈哈。我还没见过这样有趣的歌。

WRITE IN C
(sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")
用C写吧
（一首仿Beatles歌《Let's it Be》）
English version by Omri Weisman, 中文版 by 无线

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
每当我发现我的代码中充斥着错误，
朋友和老师们就来到我身边，
带着富有智慧的说辞：
“用C写吧。”


As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers"
"Write in C."
项目交付期一天天逼近，
但是我仍能发现太多Bug，
每个地方每个人悄悄对我说：
“用C写吧。”


Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, write in C.
LISP is dead and buried,
Write in C.
用C写吧，用C写吧，
用C写吧，用C写吧，
LISP早就被历史埋葬！
用C写吧。

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
for science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
我曾经写过大量的Fortran程序，
科研应用一直很OK，
但是试试图形的东东？
用C写吧。


If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
如果你已经花费掉30小时，
全部都在你的汇编中捉虫，
不久你会发现，
用C写吧。


Write in C, write in C,
Write In C, yeah, write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.
用C写吧，用C写吧，
用C写吧，yeah，用C写吧。
只有白痴才用BASIC。
用C写吧


Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
用C写吧，用C写吧，
用C写吧，oh，用C写吧
Pascal去死吧！
用C写吧


Guitar Solo（吉他序曲）


Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.
用C写吧，用C写吧
用C写吧，yeah，用C写吧
管COBOL干什么！？
用C写吧。


And when the screen is fuzzy,
And the edior is bugging me.
I'm sick of ones and zeroes.
Write in C.
想想屏幕一片混乱，
想想编辑器里太多Bugs，
我就会感到不舒服，
用C写吧。


A thousand people people swear that T.P.
Seven is the one for me.
I hate the word PROCEDURE,
Write in C.
太多的人们那，诅咒T.P.
我就是其中之一，
我憎恨PROCEDURE，
用C写吧。


Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
PL1 is 80's,
Write in C.
用C写吧。，用C写吧。
用C写吧。，yeah，用C写吧。
PL1是80年代的老货，
用C写吧。。


Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
The government loves ADA,
Write in C.
用C写吧，用C写吧。
用C写吧，yeah，用C写吧。
政府只喜欢漂亮的ADA，
用C写吧。

呵呵★蓝夜

呵呵，不错不错
天天都有！
记着把更新的东西在几楼在上边写好哈，
嘿嘿！！！
我喜欢
支持一下！！！
回来请我喝酒哈！

[s:36] 有些单词不认识！！！ [s:36]

幺妖

这东西还天天有啊，关注一下

无线狂人

又来拉，今天的笑话是：

A Microsoft Joke

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."


OK，继续由无线翻译成中文：
一个飞行员驾驶着一架只有一个小型引擎的小型飞机，飞机上有一些非常重要的管理人员。它从西雅图机场起飞后，就一直在雾气迷茫的情况下飞机，能见度不到10m。所以它开始飞一个圆圈，企图找到一个地标来辩明方向。一个小时过去了，它发现飞机上的原油已经不多，乘客们开始惊慌起来。这个时候，云雾突然出现了一个小孔，孔外面出现了一座大厦，飞行员只在大厦的五层发现了一个小男孩在工作，飞行员对他大喊：
“请问我在那里？？”
“你在飞机上。”回答到。
于是飞行员成功立刻来了一个270度的大转弯，最后竟然成功的在机场上降落。

乘客很不解，问飞行员：“你怎么知道我们附近有机场？”
“很简单，那孩子给了我们一个完全正确，但又100%没用的回答，”所以我明白了，我一定来到了微软公司的技术支持中心，我知道那附近就有一个飞机场。

呵呵★蓝夜

我晕，这都行，
微软附近有机场？？
我晕，把人吵死了，还有心思写软件，我晕

无线狂人

下面是引用呵呵★蓝夜于2006-01-16 23:24发表的:
我晕，这都行，
微软附近有机场？？
我晕，把人吵死了，还有心思写软件，我晕

你明显没看明白这个笑话么，说的很清楚，那是MS的技术支持中心，是给客户提供售后服务的。那里的技术支持人员给客户的回答都是100%正确，但100%没用的东东。

呵呵★蓝夜

我晕，我看了英文的，你翻译的没仔细看
我现在才知道，我的英语水平也不是很低么
嘿嘿

无线狂人

Finally the Microsoft System Software (MSS) Available !!!

REAL PORTION of Microsoft Windows code:
  while (memory_available) {
      eat_major_portion_of_memory (no_real_reason);
      if (feel_like_it)         
         make_user_THINK (this_is_an_OS);
      Bill_Gates_bank_balance++;
  }


最终版本的微软系统软件发布了！！

真正的Microsoft Windows代码是：

while( 仍然有内存 ) {
  吃掉剩下的内存( 没有原因 );
  if( 不喜欢它 )
    叫用户明白( 这是一个操作系统 ) ;
  BillGates的存款 ++ ;
}

呵呵★蓝夜

无线，今天没发哈，呵呵

无线狂人

Star Trek meet Windows 95


"Sulu, set path to the floppy drive. Scotty, fit the hard drive with the MicroSoft Windows 95 engine. Chekov, prepare the install disks, we're about to begin a sequel."

"Captain, Windows 95 doesn't do SQL."

"Right. Then let's see how she performs at task speed. Scotty?"

"Captain, are you surrrrre you want to rrrreplace the system? If ye put Windows code into a true 32-bit multitasking environment, we'll risk a matter-antimatter explosion!"

"Scotty, that's an order."

"Aye Captain, but she's just not ready. She needs a proper beta shakedown."

"That's what we're doing, Scotty. Chekov, how are those install disks coming?"

"We're on disk 5, sir."

"Good. Spock?"

"Fascinating, Captain. It appears as if Windows 95 is scanning our hardware and mutating to adapt."

"Then Spock, can you tell me why it is saying it can't use the Microsoft sound card, which works fine as configured under Windows 3.1?"

"Unknown, Captain."

"Will it use a ProAudio Spectrum?"

"Unknown, Captain."

"How about a Sound Blaster?"

"Unknown, Captain."

"What good are you, anyway?"

"Box-office attraction, Captain."

"Bones?"

"I'm a doctor - not a hardware technician." "Spock, cancel the Microsoft sound card and install the ProAudio Spectrum. Chekov, finish the software installation. Sulu, reboot the system when it's ready and prepare to go to task speed on my signal."

"Aye, aye, Captain."

"Chekov?"

"We've just entered the desktop zone, Captain."

"Captain, she canna take it much more. Another 15 sectors and the engines'll burn up fer surrrrre."

"Scotty, we haven't even started yet."

"Sorry, Captain, I just haven't had a line in so long..."

"Sulu, go to task 1. Bring up the README.TXT in the notepad."

"Aye, Captain."

"Wait a minute. Cancel that order. Plot a shortcut to the README.TXT in the desktop zone. We'll be navigating back there frequently."

"Yes, Sir."

"Spock?"

"It seems as if we have a hardware conflict, sir. The ProAudio Spectrum 16 isn't responding, either in sound or SCSI."

"Disable the card, Spock."

"I'm sorry, sir. It won't disable the SCSI without stopping sound card first. And it won't disable the sound card without disabling the SCSI first."

"Captain, an enemy ship is approaching at 12 o'clock."

"[Looks at watch.] Good, that gives us a little more time to debug these systems."

"No, sir. The ship is already upon us."

"Uhura?"

"Scanning all frequencies, sir. I'm trying to get an image, sir, but the system is awfully slow."

"Scotty, what's happening down there?"

"The engine is running smoothly, Captain, but the 16-bit GDI can only process one console request at a time."

"See what you can do, Scotty. Spock?"

"It appears to be an IBM ship, Captain. Equipped with a Warp drive."

[Impressive sound of Warp engine coming up to speed. OOhs and Ahhs as crew gazes in the direction of enemy ship.]

"Put it on visual, Chekov."

"Aye, Captain."

[Louder OOhs and Ahhs.]

"Spock, the enemy ship is approaching fast. We need audio!"

"I'm sorry, Captain. The registry is not responding."

"Bones?"

"I'm a doctor, not a beta tester!"

"Quick, Sulu, bring up the README.TXT file."

"Captain - it's gone. Some other task in the system must have moved or changed it."

"Long-range scan, Chekov."

"I found it, Captain. Wait a minute. This README.TXT file is for the game Land of Lore, with Patrick Stewart doing the voice of King Richard."

"Patrick Stewart?"

"You've never heard of Patrick Stewart?"

"No."

"Must be a generation gap."

"Captain, she canna take it much more. Another 15 sectors and the engines'll burn up fer surrrrre."

"[Sigh.] Maintain power, Mr. Scott. Quick, Sulu, put us on red alert."

"Captain, I can't figure out how to change the color of the desktop background!"

"Bones?"

"I'm a doctor, not the FORCE docs!!"

"Never mind. Find the screen saver. Spock, prepare to fire HP LaserJet."

"Captain, I've chosen the screen saver that says `Chicago is COOL' but now I'm getting no response at the helm."

[BOOM as the enemy hits ship with photon torpedo, then large zapping sound, then either the ship moves back and forth, or people sway left and right, depending on perspective. Sparks fly from console, fires glare, indicating what would normally be irreparable damage, yet will be fixed in just minutes.]

"Sulu, take evasive action; otherwise, it's certain doom!"

"Aye, Aye, Captain. It certainly is Doom and I don't mind saying I'm getting awfully sick of this demo. Doom is one of the most stable games on the market and it runs under OS/2 with no problems whatsoever."

"We've got... to get... to the kernel. Uhura... notify... the... kernel at Star Fleet."

"Captain, I think either communications are breaking up, or you're dropping into melodramatic Shakespearean stammer mode again."

"Spock?"

"Fascinating, Captain. It would seem that the needs of the few have out-weighed the needs of the many."

"Scotty, get us out of here!"

"Sorry, Captain, the engine is no longer responding! We'll have to do a hard boot to rrrrecover."

"Bones?"